


Friends Will be Friends...

by queenfreddiemercury



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Blow Jobs, Exhibitionism, Friends With Benefits, Hair-pulling, M/M, Masturbation, Submission / Domination Elements, i nearly tagged this for alcohol abuse cause lbr freddie and roger were sO much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 01:54:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11499315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenfreddiemercury/pseuds/queenfreddiemercury
Summary: An afternoon of drinking and talking leads Roger to start questioning how well he knows himself.





	1. ...Until They're More than That

**Author's Note:**

> i imagine this taking place in the early days of queen but you can imagine whatever time/year you want

_“Hey Roggie…ask me something?”_

_“Huh?”_ Roger turned his head to look at Freddie, who was draped across a long couch. One arm was thrown across his forehead, the other trailing towards the floor.

They were both in Freddie’s hotel suite. Roger was lying on the floor, his head towards an armchair, his body between a coffee table and Freddie’s couch. By Roger’s estimate, they’d been drinking for the past 5 hours. It was one of _those_ days, where they were locked in their hotel, on the orders of management. Roger wasn’t sure what the reasoning was -  they didn’t even have a show today, so it wasn’t as if they were in danger of missing the show. _Anyway_. On such days, there really _was_ nothing better to do than get completely smashed.

Roger couldn’t remember where Brian and John had said they were going. They’d taken off pretty early on, when they saw that he and Freddie were in _“one of their moods”_ , as Brian had put it, _“where you’ll laugh at anything except something that’s actually funny!”_

Naturally, that had been hilarious. Roger had been positively wheezing by the time the door shut behind them.

That must have been several hours ago by now.

_“Ask me something!”_ Freddie continued, _“anything – I’m bored, I need something to talk about”_

_“Mmm, okay”_ Roger paused to think.

_“Come on, for heaven’s sake!”_

_“Freddie it’s been like two seconds! Give me a minute to think”_

_“What’s something you’ve always wanted to ask me?”_ Freddie’s voice was oozing with intrigue – he really was bored. It wasn’t like Freddie to be offering up information.

_“What’s your favourite colour?”_

_“You can ask anything and you ask that?”_

_“I want to know!”_

_“Yellow”_ Freddie rolled his eyes, chewing slightly on a fingernail

_“Who’s better, me or Brian, -”_

_“Brian”_

_“You didn’t even let me finish-better at what? What even were you judging this on?”_

_“Doing his hair, next”_

_“Who’s better at writing songs?”_

_“John probably”_ Roger could not only see but _hear_ Freddie’s grin, _“Though it looks like we’ll never get to find out”_

_“What’s your favourite song?”_

_“Roger, these are so_ utterly _boring!”_ Freddie’s eyes were practically bulging out of his head. _“I feel like I’m being interviewed by the fucking BBC!”_

_“When’s the last time you had sex?”_

_“Oh, now_ there’s _a question they don’t usually ask you on the BBC!”_ Freddie sounded pleased. He wriggled down slightly on the couch, leaning his head into the cushions rather than the armrest.

_“This morning, darling”_

_“The guy from last night I assume?”_

_“No, would you believe it?”_ Freddie made a face at him, an expression that Roger could only describe as _oh la la. “A different guy, aren’t I doing well for myself?”_

_“Okay so, when’s the last-”_

_“Wait, why’d you even ask that if you knew about the guy from last night?”_ Freddie had propped himself up on an elbow, to pointedly look at Roger, _“You as good as knew”_

_“You wanted a question that wasn’t from the BBC!!”_ Roger protested, _“it was the first thing that came to mind”_

_“Fair enough”_ Freddie raised his eyebrows in acceptance, drumming his fingers against the couch. _“When’s the last time you had sex?”_

_“I didn’t say you could ask me questions!”_

_“Oh, go on, you old prude!”_

_“Three days ago?”_ Roger couldn’t even remember at this stage. Though if this current day had passed into the next one, that meant it was now four. _“Something like that”_

_“Not bad at all”_ Freddie nodded sagely, _“can’t wait to phone The Sun with the news”_

_“Oh shush”_

_“You shush”_ the hysteria of several hours ago was starting to creep back in to them. Freddie sounded positively cheeky and Roger knew he was only imitating _his_ tone.

_“When’s the last time you had bad sex?”_

_“Bad sex?”_ Freddie’s voice raised in disbelief, _“What’s that, darling?”_

_“Oh, give over”_

_“I haven’t had bad sex since I stopped having sex with_ women _!”_

_“Pfffft”_ it was a mix between a laugh, a snort and a wheeze.

_“It’s true!”_

_“Oh no, I believe you”_

_“Well, mostly true”_ Freddie waved a hand dismissively _“what counts as bad nowadays isn’t anything what like used to count as bad at least”_

_“What was it like, the first time-”_

_“The first time?”_ Freddie sounded surprised now. He paused for a moment and then spoke hurriedly, _“First time for me was with a man, so it’s always been…it was never like, the big_ thing _that you’re imagining like, ‘oh, my first time sleeping with a man, however will I bring myself to do such a thing-”_

_“No”_ Roger had to interject, before Freddie went on a tangent, _“I meant the first time…like knowing you weren’t into women, but still going ahead…that first time”_

_“Ohh”_ Freddie drew out the word in realisation. _“Sorry lovie, I just assumed”_

_“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked anyway, it’s a bit personal”_

_“No, it’s alright, it’s alright”_ Freddie waved a hand placatingly in Roger’s direction, _“I said you could ask whatever you wanted. What you’ve always wanted to know – this is what you’ve always wanted to know…?”_

_“I haven’t always wanted to know!”_ Roger protested, even though he knew Freddie was teasing him, _“I just thought of it now cause, I don’t know…I’d imagine it was a big deal”_

_“Mmm”_ Freddie hesitated, moving on the couch so that he was lying flat on his back again. He was staring straight up at the ceiling, thinking before he answered.

_“I mean, I didn’t “know”, like you said. That was the whole thing. The whole reason I decided I should try it”_

_“Oh”_ Roger felt like an idiot now that Freddie said it.

_Duh._

_“But as for why I kept doing it for as long as I did”_ Freddie’s smile was back now, though it was the ceiling that was getting the best view _“that’s anybody’s guess”_

Roger ran a hand through his hair as he laughed. He could tell Freddie was pleased with the reaction.

_“It was fucking terrifying by the way, now that you ask - I don’t think anybody has actually ever asked me that before, so…congratulations. On being the first”_

_“How has no one ever asked you that?”_ Roger was genuinely surprised.

_“No one’s ever been that fucking rude is how, darling!”_ Freddie’s exclamation brought a flush of embarrassment to Roger’s face. Just when he thought he’d been out of the woods.

_“Maybe “rude” isn’t the word… “direct” might be fairer, to you anyway”_

_“I’m SORRY”_

_“ANYWAY”_ Freddie was really beaming now, delighting in how flustered Roger was becoming, _“terrifying. Not awful, not great. God, it was so scary – I need a drink just thinking about that first time. That’s what I said then too, probably”_

_“Here”_ Roger sat up, from his position on the floor and started refilling the glass Freddie had been drinking out of. He held it out towards Freddie, who took it from him eagerly.

_“Lovely”_

_“God, I don’t know how you…I know you said you didn’t know, but still. Wow”_

_“So, I take it you’ve never”_

_“Never what?”_

_“You know”_ Freddie was facing him now, having sat up to take the drink. He took a sip, waggling his eyebrows from behind the glass before continuing.

_“Dabbled”_

_“No”_ Roger smiled into his own lap – he felt embarrassed all of a sudden, as if by his own inexperience, though he wasn’t sure why he would be when he’d never been before.

_“Never dabbled no”_

_“Wise”_ Freddie tapped his nose, knowingly, _“they always say women are impossible, but men? Whole other story. Ridiculous. Impossible to please – we’re awful, every single one of us”_

_“Oh, come on!”_

_“It’s true!”_ Freddie was indignant, his hands spread out wide in emphasis. _“You ever have a girl complain about how you look? I doubt it – it’s men who have the most ridiculous standards. About anything, and everything!”_

_“Christ”_ Roger didn’t even know what to say. 

_“Course, I’m as bad as the next, I’m sure”_ Freddie sounded embarrassed himself now, self-deprecating.

_“Unfortunate”_ he concluded, before knocking back the rest of his drink.

There was a silence for a moment. Roger’s head was buzzing. He didn’t even realise he’d started speaking until about half-way through he realised his mouth was moving.

_“I’ve never even really stopped to think about it all”_

_“About what?”_ Freddie was examining his own hands, turning them over and over slowly in front of his face.

_“About…what I like, and if I’d like…things”_

Freddie paused in his examination.

_“You just assume, you know?”_ Roger continued, all too aware of how faltering his effort was. He wasn’t even sure what he was trying to articulate.

_“Oh, I do know”_ Freddie eyed him out of the corner of his eye briefly, before turning his attention to his hands again, _“or so I’ve been told”_

_“What even makes someone question – like why haven’t I thought about it, while other people have, and do. It seems like an important thing…to do”_

_“Well you are doing it”_ Freddie said slowly, after a moment of thought, _“right now”_

_“Yeah but, that’s not really the same is it”_ Roger felt his forehead scrunching up irresistibly in concentration, _“like it’s not the same cause I’m not a kid”_

_“There’s no set age-”_

_“And I know I’m straight. I’m just saying I’ve never even stopped to think about-”_

_“Do you?”_

_“Do I what?”_

_“Know you’re straight”_ Freddie said slowly, as if it was obvious. Roger felt almost caught off guard by the question, despite the fact Freddie had taken it from his own words, as if Freddie was trying to catch him out.

_“…yeah, I mean I think so”_

_“Then why are you even thinking about it now, lovie”_ Freddie shook his head, moving hair back from his face, _“if you know, there’s no need to think about it – don’t worry”_

_“Yeah”_

_“Do you want another drink?”_

_“But I’m thinking about it now”_ Roger persisted, despite Freddie’s obvious attempt to move them on. Freddie shrugged and leaned forward himself to reach the bottle.

_“Yes, you clearly are”_

_“What if I’m missing out”_

Freddie raised an eyebrow.

_“Do you feel like you’re missing out?”_

_“I don’t know”_ Roger was sure most of it was an effect of the alcohol, but he was beginning to feel like he’d been knocked sideways.

_“You’re thinking too much about this”_ Freddie seemed eager for the conversation to move on. His tone was matter of fact – the sort he used when they were discussing work. _“If it feels right, it’s right. If it doesn’t, it isn’t. That’s it. The end.”_

_“Okay”_

_“Okay”_ Freddie’s face was a mixture of concern and apprehension – something Roger couldn’t’ quite identify.

_“Hey Freddie?”_

_“Oh lord, Roger, what?”_

_“How will I know if it feels right?”_

Freddie looked bewildered – something close to a frown clouding his features, his mouth slightly open.

_“You just…just think about it Roger, I don’t know.”_

_“Think about it”_ Roger repeated

_“Yes, darling!”_ Freddie’s bewilderment was mixing with indignation now _“Just think to yourself, using your own mental capacities; ‘hmm! Is this something I’d want to do? Is he something I’d want to do?’ Good gracious, it’s like your brain has turned to pudding in the last five minutes, I swear – you’ve overdone it on the drink, that’s for sure”_

_“Stop!”_ Roger felt the hysterical laughter of several hours ago starting to rise in his chest. At this stage, such laughter would be more a pain than a pleasure.

_“I mean it!”_ Freddie was relaxing once again, a smile beginning to tug at the corners of his mouth.

_“I mean”_ he continued, _“it’s not like you can do more than think unless you want to start cruising the same clubs that I do”_

Roger wasn’t too tempted by the idea. It would be a _lot,_ considering he didn’t even know if-

_“And if I think about it and decide that maybe I should possibly do more than think?”_

Freddie threw his hands up in the air, a _who knows_ gesture.

_“Then you better go do something about it I guess”_

A silence sprang up between them. Freddie poured himself another drink, before seemingly thinking better of it and putting the glass back on the table.

_“I probably wouldn’t want to dive right in”_

Freddie closed his eyes.

_“No, I suppose you wouldn’t want to”_

_“I’d probably want to just…kiss? A guy. To try it out”_

_“Sensible”_ Freddie reached for his glass with renewed fervour.

  _“I don’t know that many guys who like kissing guys”_

_“That makes one of us”_ Freddie took a swig.

_“I probably just know you”_

Freddie coughed – he’d choked for a second on his drink.

_“You know more than that you fool, you know several of my friends for one thing”_

_“True, but you just so happen to be in this hotel room right now”_

Freddie’s eyes snapped to him. He looked confused momentarily, as if he hadn’t quite taken in what Roger was saying. Then he flicked his eyes to the ceiling – the most dramatic eye roll Roger had seen all evening, matched by the widest grin he’d worn in hours.

_“Oh darling, absolutely not”_

_“Come on!”_ Roger sat up so that he was better able to see Freddie. Freddie’s smile slipped a little at Roger’s sudden movement, and he straightened up in his seat.

_“No!”_

_“Why not?”_ Roger pulled himself to his feet, before sitting on the coffee table so that he was on a level with Freddie. Freddie shook his head slightly, his eyes widening to convey the _what the fuck_ that was written all over his face.

_“You’re not my type”_

_“What, you not into blondes? At all?”_ Roger was pretty sure he’d seen Freddie with some blondes in his day.

_“I’m not into men who are prettier than half the girls we meet, or blondes”_

_“Well I-”_

_“You fit both those categories”_ Freddie clucked his tongue, as if to say _hard luck._

_“Freddie…”_ Roger positively _whined_ the word, sticking out his bottom lip for emphasis, _“I just want to kiss a guy and I want to kiss one now. We can’t leave this hotel! You’re my only hope”_

_“Oh no no no no no, no”_ Freddie a knee up in front of his chest, creating a physical barrier between himself and Roger, _“not a chance”_

_“It’ll be quick”_ Roger moved off the table and onto the cushion beside Freddie, one foot curled up under him, the other remaining on the floor so that he could face Freddie. Freddie pushed himself closer against the armrest of the couch, an expression of utter confusion on his face.

_“You don’t actually want-”_

_“So quick”_ Roger spoke over him, Freddie’s voice instantly dying away _“and you’ll close your eyes and won’t see the blonde”_

_“You don’t just get to use me to figure out your moment of gay panic you motherfucker”_ despite the serious delivery, Freddie was smiling. He couldn’t meet Roger’s eye and was covering his smile with a hand.

_“I don’t think I’m using you”_ Roger put a hand on the knee Freddie still had raised, _“I see this more as you doing me a favour”_

_“You’re still not my type”_

_“And you’re still about to let me kiss you”_

_“Oh, for fuck’s sake”_ Freddie whispered.

Roger put a hand to Freddie’s face and closed the distance between them.

It was chaste. It was quick. As promised.

It wasn’t enough.

_“You happy now?”_ Freddie was saying, moving back slightly.

_“No”_ Roger didn’t mean for it to sound so strained. Freddie’s breathing hitched.

Roger felt tell-tale pricks of heat in his back. He reached a to Freddie’s chest and gripped his shirt.

_“I don’t think”_ Freddie started, his voice low. He was still so close to him, he’d barely moved back at all. If Roger tilted his head their foreheads would be touching.

_“Sssh”_ Roger shushed him gently. He could feel Freddie’s breath on his face.

_“Okay?”_ he was asking for permission more than anything else.

_“Okay”_ Freddie breathed, the word tickling Roger’s cheeks.

Roger kissed him again. Where before it had been gentle, this time it was harsh and ugly and it _felt so good,_ Roger couldn’t believe he’d ever doubted it would. His stomach was already jolting but when he felt Freddie’s lips parting under his, it was like he’d been set on fire. Freddie’s lips were so soft, like a girl’s – everything felt exactly like kissing girls always had except he was kissing a man and it was _so good-_

One hand had moved up to Freddie’s hair – he wasn’t even aware of how hard he was pulling until Freddie broke away from him, his breathing harsh.

_“If it was anyone but you”_ he said breathlessly, his hands wrapped in Roger’s shirt _“I’d have bitten them for doing that to my hair”_

_“You don’t like a bit of pain?”_ Roger kissed Freddie again before continuing _“that’s surprising”_

_“I don’t like people messing with my hair”_ Freddie’s breathing was shallow. With one hand, he reached for one of Roger’s, and brought it up to his chest. Roger could feel Freddie’s heart racing.

_“But take a guess as to if I like the pain”_

Roger didn’t realise he was groaning until his mouth met Freddie’s and the sound changed. He was holding Freddie’s face in his hands, he could feel Freddie smiling at the change in the hand placement – maybe part of him had expected Roger to ignore his warning.

God, he needed more.

_“About what I said about not diving ‘right in’…”_

Freddie was moving onto his neck.

_“I’ve rethought”_

_“If you think I’m letting you fuck me when you don’t even know what you’re doing, you are absolutely mistaken”_

_“I’ve done anal with girls before”_

_“And I bet they suffered terribly”_ Freddie kissed his cheek, pressed a brief kiss to his lips then broke off, leaving his hands around Roger’s neck.

_“I don’t think-”_

_“Well I know, darling”_ Freddie’s laugh ended in a groan – he was just as desperate as Roger was, despite his protestations.

_“Besides you’re still too pretty”_

_“You motherfucker!”_

_“However, even I’ll let a pretty guy blow me”_

Roger was so turned on, his eyes rolled back into his head.

_“Hmm?”_ Freddie was climbing into his lap now, one knee on either side of Roger’s hips. He started to grind into his lap, low and slow and dirty.

Roger couldn’t breathe.

_“Do you want that?”_ Freddie was as composed as Roger was unravelled. He was asking a question rather than trying to build Roger up.

_“Do I. Want.”_ Roger was finding it hard to think.

_“Do you want to blow me?”_ Freddie clarified, continuing to grind while also moving a hand up to the nape or Roger’s neck. Even in this state, Roger couldn’t help but marvel at the irony of Freddie now winding his fingers through his hair.

_“Or do you want me to blow you?”_ Freddie swallowed, then tilted Roger’s chin upwards with his free hand, forcing Roger to look at him. _“Or do you want both or neither or just more of this or to stop? What do you want? Just tell me”_

_“Fuck”_ Roger still couldn’t concentrate. All he knew was he wanted more but what Freddie was doing felt so good, but he wanted to try for himself, but also for Freddie to-

_“I want it all”_

_“You want it all?”_ Freddie’s voice jumped a few tones, - incredulous, _“well aren’t you a cheeky bugger”_

Freddie kissed him hard and fast.

_“Coming right up, lovie”_

Freddie was moving off him now. He swung off Roger’s lap and stood up. Glancing behind him, he shoved the coffee table back with the heel of his foot. When he started to sink to his knees Roger realised he’d be lucky to last ten seconds. He was so turned on it was painful – everything Freddie was doing was so overwhelming he couldn’t handle it.

_“That’s fine, I’ll do that too”_

_“Huh?”_ the feeling of helplessness reminded Roger of being on a theme-park ride.

_“I was just saying I’ll do everything”_ Freddie was reaching up to his belt buckle, _“don’t you bother yourself in the slightest”_

_“Sorry”_ Roger tried to shake himself back down to earth. He pulled off his shirt, throwing it over Freddie’s head towards the back wall. Then he picked up where Freddie had started, undoing his belt, the zipper, and pulling his jeans down.

_“Thanks for that”_ Freddie grinned up at him through his eyelashes. Freddie was kneeling between Roger’s legs while Roger himself was still sitting on the couch. Roger was going to pass out.

_“No! Leave that one to me_ ” – Roger had been moving to pull down his underwear, but Freddie stopped him in his tracks.

_“Ohhkay”_ Roger started, as Freddie moved his jeans from around his ankles, throwing them somewhere to his right.

_“All to me”_ Freddie said, his hands resting on Roger’s thighs.

_“Ohh-god...”_

Freddie was palming his dick through his underwear.

_“Mmm”_ he said appreciatively, smiling devilishly up at Roger.

_“I mean, you’ve seen my dick before”_ Roger managed, with considerable difficulty. It was true – the years they’d spent together, dressing room flurries and all meant that everyone was well acquainted with each other.

_“I mean, of course I have darling, but never like this”_

Then Freddie’s mouth was on his dick, _again,_ through the material of his underwear and Roger felt like he was going to explode cause if just _this_ was turning him on so much how would he even survive –

_“Big”_ Freddie said dumbly, pointedly – his eyes wide and vacant. He was blinking deliberately, slowly at him for a moment before he broke, smiling in spite of his attempt at, _what it was an attempt at, Roger wasn’t sure but he knew that his insides were jolting._

Freddie was getting a feel for his dick. Roger knew well it was for his benefit rather than Freddie’s – as if Freddie _needed_ time to prepare himself. The more his mouth moved around and his tongue worked, the damper Roger’s underwear was getting. Something about that damp feeling combined with the fact a barrier remained between them – a barrier that Freddie was so coyly abusing – was so arousing. Roger felt like Freddie could do anything to him, yet simultaneously as though Freddie would do anything he told him to.

_“Mmm”_ Freddie’s mouth was against his crotch as he spoke, or tried to speak – Roger didn’t know what he was trying to say.

_Vibrations_.

_“Freddie, Jesus fuck”_

_“I know, darling”_ this time Roger could make it out though it was muffled.

_“Just…stop…don’t…need”_

Freddie replied something incomprehensible, still talking with his mouth against Roger’s crotch.

Roger pushed Freddie’s head down against his crotch, taking care not to go deeper into Freddie’s hair than was necessary. He held Freddie there for a minute before pushing his head back.

_“More”_

Freddie looked up at him, his head tilted backwards. He looked for all the world as if he was weighing him up – all while subtly trying to catch his breath. Roger’s action had cut off his air supply for a moment.

_“If you’d wanted me choking, all you had to do was say so”_

Freddie raised his eyebrows briefly at him. Then he was moving down to Roger’s waistband. He tugged them down just enough to let Roger’s dick come free.

_“You’re going to put up with that”_ Freddie squeezed his balls through the damp underwear _“because I put up with you touching my hair. Again”_

_“Okay”_ it was stupidly hot – being made to stay in the uncomfortably wet underwear.

_“Okay”_ Freddie leaned up, kissing him for the first time in a long time, while one hand moved to Roger’s dick.

_“and Ringo was his name-o”_

Roger barely had time to register the fact that Freddie had apparently just called his dick Ringo, before Freddie’s mouth had moved to his dick and everything became Too Much. Freddie sucked on the head, taking his time, before licking a stripe up the shaft. One hand was rolling Roger’s balls back and forth, the other was at the base of the shaft, covering the ground that Freddie had yet to get to. Freddie was slowly taking more and more of Roger’s dick into his mouth. Roger was sure the slow pace was deliberate - Freddie’s goal being to make him frantic.

Suddenly Freddie had taken the full length. He bobbed back up, his hand following suit, before the pattern reversed and Freddie had taken the full length again. Roger was used to blow jobs. He could handle blow jobs.

Then Freddie started to hum.

Roger couldn’t help bucking his hips, he _really_ couldn’t. Freddie gagged and pulled off indignantly.

_“Fuck, sorry”_

Freddie glared at him.

_“You’ll ruin the best bit”_

_“Sorry, sorry! I won’t do it again”_ Roger was fucking desperate for Freddie to get his mouth back on him.

_“I should have held your hips down, it’s my own fault”_

_“Freddie, Jesus fuck just do it again, please”_

Roger wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Freddie look so smug, and that was saying something.

Even after preparing himself, Roger could still barely prevent himself from doing the same thing again. Freddie wasn’t a trained singer but he knew how to use his voice, and his throat and _god_ Roger had never more appreciated that than now.

_“Freddie stop, I’m gonna-”_

He warned Freddie in plenty of time, but Freddie kept his grip on Roger’s hips, pinning him there, and continued down Roger’s shaft.

_Fuckkkkkkking hell._

He came down Freddie’s throat.

As if seeing Freddie swallow wasn’t enough, watching Freddie catch a stray drop on his finger and suck it off almost had Roger in tears.

_“Well”_ Freddie was leaning back on his haunches. Roger was slumped against the couch.

_“That. Was. Fun”_ Freddie punctuated each word with a gentle slap to Roger’s upper thighs.

_“Fuck”_ Roger tried again, _“god”_

_“Oh, really lovie, it’s nothing”_ Freddie had taken the same finger back into his mouth. He sucked on it lewdly. Roger felt like a vegetable.

_“Well. Clearly, you’re in no state for anything productive”_

_“Oh, fuck”_ Roger made an attempt to sit up. His demand earlier, _“I want it all”_ seemed unfathomably overconfident now, in retrospect.

_“Here, I can still-”_

_“Uhhh, no you can’t”_

_“I can’t just not, get you off, after you-”_

_“Much like the fucking”_ Freddie was all business once again, _“I’m not really in the mood to be torn apart by your teeth”_

_“But…you-”_ Roger felt stupid and slow but he waved a hand in the direction of Freddie’s crotch. He _couldn’t_ just leave Freddie after all that Freddie had done.

_“Oh, don’t worry lovie”_ Freddie was pulling off his shirt now. Roger hadn’t realised until now that Freddie had been fully clothed the entire time, entirely focused on Roger.

_“What I want you to do”_ he continued, unbuckling his own jeans this time, _“is watch”_

_Oh Jesus, fuck me._

Freddie had his shirt off, and his jeans pulled down past his knees. Leaning forward briefly, he put a hand to Roger’s chest and pushed him back into the couch again.

_“Just watch”_ he said again, his voice slightly strained.

Freddie ran his hands over his chest, pausing briefly to rub back and forth over his nipples.

Roger’s breathing was already getting shallow.

Eyes closed and head thrown slightly back, Freddie continued downwards, pushing his palms over his stomach and down into his crotch. Just as he had with Roger earlier, he palmed his dick through his underwear. One hand moved back up to his chest, rolling a nipple back and forth while the other pressed lightly over his dick. After a few long moments, Freddie opened his eyes.

Roger realised he was making sure that he was watching him.

Freddie tugged his own pants down and pulled out his dick. He licked a palm, making a show of it – keeping eye contact with Roger and pursing his lips dramatically.

Roger felt a hand moving to his own crotch in spite of himself.

Freddie grinned and proceeded to start jerking off.

It was absolutely obscene. It would have been anyway, but the fact Freddie was playing up to him so much made the whole thing almost unbearable. Freddie would let small sounds escape – grunts and moans. Every time he did he’d look up to Roger as if to say _is that okay, am I allowed to do that?_ Roger wasn’t sure how that dynamic had been created, given that Roger had had next to nothing to do with this and yet _there it was_. Freddie was submitting himself for Roger’s approval – he was asking to be watched and judged.

When he started to get close, Freddie let slip a loud groan. Instantly, his eyes flashed to Roger as if to apologise.

_“Let me hear you”_ how Roger managed to sound composed was beyond him.

Freddie’s closed his eyes briefly, arousal at the direction overcoming him momentarily. After a moment, he opened them and continued what he was doing, this time moaning freely and loudly.

Roger could tell when Freddie was close, because he looked at him with a new-found sense of urgency in his eyes. Roger watched him for a few moments, making him wait. Knowing that Freddie was actually waiting for his direction was so arousing, Roger almost wished that Freddie had gone first.

_“Go on – come for me”_

Freddie came almost instantly, spilling into his own hand and down his arm. He pumped his way through it, then reclined slightly, his head thrown back.

_“Freddie-”_ Roger wasn’t sure if this was pushing his luck. When Freddie looked at him, Roger mimed licking his own palm.

Freddie’s breathing hitched.

Freddie raised his hand to his mouth and licked off as much of the cum as he could, some of it continuing to trickle down his forearm. Freddie didn’t even need to look at Roger before he was chasing these with his tongue.

Roger genuinely felt weak.

_“Fucking hell, Roger”_ Roger was almost surprised that it was Freddie who spoke, given how the last few minutes had gone. However, his tone was strong and suggested he’d come back to himself.

_“That was…really fucking good”_

_“Do you mean me?”_ Roger was still feeling almost dizzy with arousal, _“Or what you were doing just there”_

_“Well I meant the end, but the whole thing. God. That was really good”_

_“I never could have imagined you’d be like that”_

_“You and your imagining!”_ Freddie brought a hand to his forehead in disbelief.

_“Remember a while ago when you were asking me what you should do if you weren’t sure, and I said you should just imagine”_

_“I couldn’t have imagined that. It was too good”_ Roger was almost embarrassed of himself for saying it but it was true.

_“I need a shower”_ Roger didn’t blame Freddie – Freddie was covered in cum, spit and sweat. He only had the sweat to contend with.

_“Same”_ he agreed.

_“Well, not much point in wasting water is there, Roger?”_ Freddie winked an _over-the-top_ _wink_ at him. Roger rolled his eyes.

_“No, I suppose not – especially when there’s this lovely big shower too”_

They’d been in the bathroom for about ten minutes when they heard Brian’s voice:

_“Roger? Freddie? Are you around? Oh, one of you’s in the bathroom. Where’s the other? Would one of you answer me please! Where are you? Wait…are you both in there? For fuck’s sake-”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was listening to back in the ussr on repeat while writing this, so that's a mood


	2. Even When They're Lying Through their Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie and Roger scramble to explain themselves when Brian turns up looking for them.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I had already posted this exact thing as a separate work. i decided that if i was to write more i'd want them to be chapters of one work rather than separate works. however, i'm going to leave it structured as a series (for now anyway) because there's some comments on that work etc.)

Roger wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Fully aware as he was that they’d both just come within the last twenty minutes, he  _shouldn’t_ have expected much.

Freddie had lathered both their hairs into semi mohawks. He was currently doing a dramatic rendition of  _Immigrant Song._  Roger wasn’t sure if he’d describe what Freddie was doing as singing, but he was certainly  _performing._

_You came like twenty minutes ago, it’s not like you would have even been able to go again._

_“Oh, ahHHHH AH”_

Freddie had his back to Roger, one arm stretched up, one leg at an angle. A pose he often used on stage, though usually not with his back to the audience. The shower was a large walk in, the kind with a rain-shower head. It was the ideal shower for getting up to antics.

Even if those antics are just ridiculous over the top singing alongs.

Freddie spun around, and stepped towards Roger. He actually  _shimmied._  Roger was about to berate him for it, but then Freddie was kissing him and Roger forgot all he had to say about that  _ridiculous shimmy –_

_“Don’t stop!”_ Roger protested, as Freddie pulled away again.

_“I’ve got to darling”_ Freddie fluffed up his foamed-up hair,  _“gotta keep these hits coming”_

_“I’d rather do more of this”_ Roger pulled Freddie back in. Freddie responded eagerly – part of Roger wondered if Freddie had just been testing him.

_“Okay so, anyway”_ Freddie broke away again. He was fighting back a smile. Roger swore.

_“Now on to the next song, the incredible; Babe I’m gonna leave you_

_“Oh, for fucks-”_

_“Babe, baby, baby, I’m Gonna leave you”_

Roger rolled his eyes and left Freddie to it. Freddie was clearly enjoying himself. Roger started rinsing his own hair. When he opened his eyes, he could see Freddie take a deliberately massive breath.

_Oh, here it comes._

_“BABE, OH BABE-”_

A door slammed.

Freddie gasped, then slapped a hand over his mouth.

_“Roger? Freddie?”_

It was Brian. Roger recognised the voice. The second he’d called their names, Freddie had crossed the distance between them and put his other hand over Roger’s mouth. Roger reached behind his back and quickly turned off the shower.

Brian was still talking – _“are you around?”_ Roger looked at Freddie, and saw that Freddie’s eyes were panicked.

_“What do we do?”_ Freddie whispered, taking his hand off Roger’s mouth as he did so.

_“It’s fine, Brian won’t mind”_

_“I don’t give a FUCK-”_ Freddie managed to scream the word, even through a whisper,  _“if Brian ‘minds’ or not. I don’t want him knowing”_

_“Why?”_

_“Cause it’s inappropriate to get with one’s friends, and unprofessional to get with one’s bandmates”_

_“But I was the one who started all this, it doesn’t even-”_

_“Just no!”_ Freddie was adamant. He waved his hands, a gesture that firmly reiterated his  _no._

_“Besides, it’s none of his business”_

In the silence, they could fully take in what Brian was saying.

_“Wait…are you both in there? Oh, for fuck’s sake”_

_“Hi Brian!”_ Freddie called out, his voice chipper. He shot Roger a sharp look.  _Follow me on this._

_“Freddie? What are you doing? Why are you both in there, what are you doing?”_

_“It…”_ Freddie trailed off. Roger could almost see the cogs in his brain working, through his eyes. A look of resignation crossed his face. He sighed.

_“I was just showing Roger something”_

_“Oh”_ Brian sounded surprised. Roger couldn’t help the noise that he made – a mix between a laugh and a yelp. Freddie glared at him.

_“…what is it?”_ Brian continued, his curiosity apparent.  _“Are you all right?”_

_“Yes, no, I’m fine!”_ Freddie was clearly trying to convey peace and normality through his tone, but to Roger’s ears it sounded more nervous than anything else.  _“Roger doesn’t know what it is, but it’s fine. At least he gave it a look”_

_“Well, let me look”_ Brian’s voice piped up helpfully from behind the door,  _“maybe I’ll be able to help”_

Freddie looked absolutely crestfallen.

_“No…no, Brian, dear, it’s all right”_ Freddie was speaking so hurriedly it was a miracle he didn’t trip  _“I don’t want to waste your time”_

_“I’m not doing anything anyway, honest!”_

_“Uhh”_ Freddie moved as quickly and quietly as he could across the room. He reached the pile of towels that the hotel had provided and threw one at Roger.

_“Quick”_ Freddie mouthed.

_“Well”_ Freddie was furiously drying his own hair with a towel. Roger quickly followed suit.  _“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable”_

_“Freddie”_ Brian’s tone was so endearing. Roger could nearly scream. It was so easy to imagine Brian behind the door, a hand on his chest – truly just eager to help his friend.

_“I’m a grown man, I can handle whatever medical ailment this is”_

Freddie hurried over to Roger and gave him another towel. The last towel he had in his hand, he now wrapped around his waist.

Roger, who hadn’t even been alarmed when Brian had first come in, now felt panicked himself. Freddie’s was clearly catching. Roger gestured frantically down at his own naked chest.

_“How do we explain this?”_

_“I’ll think of something”_ Freddie shook his head, resigned to the fact that there was no escaping this situation.

_“Well, if you really want to”_ Freddie acquiesced  _“the door’s open”_

_Here we go…_

Brian opened the door and took a step in.

_“Oh”_ he was clearly confused by what he’d just walked into.

_“Hi Brian”_ Freddie said again. Roger waved a hand, the other hand keeping a grip on his towel.

_“Sorry, I didn’t realise”_ Brian faltered, his eyes darting from Roger to Freddie and back again,  _“or, I didn’t expect, I guess…the towels”_

_“It was easier to show Roger like this”_ Freddie waved a hand dismissively. From his position, Roger could see that the back of Freddie’s neck was starting to flush slightly.

_“Oh…kay”_ Brian nodded slowly. Then his brow furrowed.

_“But…why is Roger in a towel as well?”_

Roger heard a sharp intake of breath from Freddie.

_“Because…”_

_“Because Freddie was more comfortable like this”_ Roger piped up suddenly, having realised that Freddie was drawing a blank. Brian’s turned his head to look at him.

_“Why would he-”_

_“Cause he was embarrassed Brian!”_ Roger tried to make his tone reproachful.  _“Embarrassed about this… thing, and then you come marching in here asking all these questions and… questioning everything…”_

It was the best he could do at this short notice.

_“I’m sorry – sorry!”_ Brian directed the last one at Freddie specifically, gesturing out with a hand.  _“Sorry – but do show me, honestly, I just want to help”_

Freddie nodded, acknowledging Brian’s apology.

_“So…what is it?”_

Freddie sighed, then threw his hands up in the air in defeat.

_“Fine so”_

Roger had no idea what Freddie was about to do.

_“So, it’s this mole right here”_

Freddie had moved the towel. While it was still wrapped around him, the sides were bunched together. He was basically holding back his dick with the towel, but inviting Brian to examine a point  _extremely high up_ on his inner thigh.

Brian duly stepped forward to examine the thigh. Roger himself moved forward to peer around Brian.

_Well of all the luck…_

Freddie, sure enough, had a mole or freckle or  _some kind of mark_  on the inside of his thigh. The absurdity of the situation had Roger biting his lip. Freddie’s eyes were on the ceiling as he let Brian have a look.

_“It…what’s wrong with it?”_

_“Well, I’m worried you know”_ Freddie was grasping at straws,  _“Cancer”_

_“Cancer!”_ Brian pulled back to look at Freddie’s face, disbelief on his own  _“why on earth would you have cancer?”_

_“Well, you know…”_ Freddie waved a hand- a physical manifestation of how far he was  _reaching- “I smoke an awful lot”_

_“Yeah but…that’s true, but it wouldn’t be relevant to this mole, I don’t think”_

_“No?”_

_“No, cause moles are related to skin cancer and smoking would probably just give you lung cancer or something”_

_“Oh!”_ Freddie’s eyes had gone wide, for all the world as if he was relieved by this news

_“Yeah. But you are meant to keep an eye on moles for skin cancer – have the edges of it changed or has it got bigger or anything”_

_“Uhh”_ Freddie took a moment, to deliberately think about Brian’s question  _“it might have gotten a bit bigger. Which is why I was worried and wanted to show Roggie in the first place”_

_“Hmm”_ Brian had gone back for a second look,  _“well, it doesn’t look too bad, but yeah you should keep an eye on it. And if there ever is any noticeable changes, that’s when you go to a doctor”_

_“So, you don’t think I should just go, as it is?”_ Freddie, to his credit, was fully committing to his play. Roger couldn’t help but wonder how many times Freddie had strung  _him_  along with fabricated stories, as he was doing to Brian right now.

_“No, there’s no need”_ Brian stepped back and crossed his arms across his chest, his work done.

_“Well thank goodness – and thank you Brian!”_ Freddie readjusted his towel now that the examination was over,  _“it’s a good thing you came – Roger was absolutely useless! He had me so worried, all this ridiculous talk about smoking”_

_“Roger”_ Brian scoffed good-naturedly, berating Roger for “his” foolishness. Roger made a face, as if to say, “ _what am I like!”_

_“Anyway”_ Brian took a step back towards the doorway  _“John and I were going to go get dinner – he convinced them all that we should be allowed out of here for dinner at least so, if either of you wants to join us, you’re welcome”_

_“Oh, fuck me, that would be wonderful”_ the relief in Freddie’s voice was palpable. Roger knew he had a tendency to go stir-crazy when he was stuck in one place for too long.

_“Yeah – you too Roger?”_ Roger nodded his agreement,  _“Okay. Well, I guess you’ll want to finish up that shower you were clearly having so…what would you say, about twenty-five minutes from now meet in the reception?”_

Freddie froze.

_“The what? What did you just-”_

_“Shower, dress, reception”_ Brian counted the words off on his fingers  _“Don’t take too long with it please, I’m dying to get out”_

_“Why would you…we weren’t-”_

_“There is water absolutely everywhere, all over this floor”_ Brian gestured towards their feet. Sure enough, now that he pointed it out, Roger noticed that they’d dragged a lot of water with them in the panic when Brian had arrived.

_“And there’s still foam in the shower itself”_ Brian continued, pointing towards the shower itself.

_“We didn’t want…the hot water to run out”_

_“In a hotel like this?”_ Brian raised an eyebrow  _“not that likely. At all”_

_“Well we just-”_

_“I don’t care”_ Brian cut Freddie off, taking another step through the door,  _“it doesn’t matter. Just be down at the reception in twenty-five or we’ll leave without you. See you then!”_

He didn’t bother to close the bathroom door behind him, though after a moment they heard the main door click shut. Roger turned to Freddie. He looked dumbfounded.

_“Well”_ Roger clasped his hands together, taking full advantage of Freddie’s rare speechlessness  _“now that that’s sorted, I’m going to get some conditioner in this hair”_

_“He just-”_ Freddie was literally at a loss for words.

_“Come on”_ Roger grabbed Freddie’s hand and tugged him back towards the shower,  _“unless you’d like to go get a second opinion about that mole, there isn’t anything better to do than this”_

_“Hey!”_ that remark had jumpstarted Freddie into action once more,  _“I did the_ best I could  _with ten seconds warning”_

_“It was spectacular”_ Roger bowed jokingly towards Freddie.  _“An amazing feat of improvisation”._

Freddie clucked his tongue, rolling his eyes as he did so. The beginnings of a smile were tugging at his mouth, though, so Roger wasn’t too worried.

_“Now, don’t start with the singing again – we can’t afford to be late”_

_“That we cannot afford”_ Freddie said, in clear agreement. He immediately turned on the shower and threw some conditioner in his hair.

_“So…”_ Freddie began. Roger raised an eyebrow in question.

_“What can one wear to a dinner to say, 'sorry that we were close-enough-to-fucking, but we’re glad you’re okay with it?'”_


	3. And When They Can't Sleep at Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger goes to check on Freddie, after an argument with Brian at the dinner

They were only five minutes late down to the reception. Everyone had waited, much to Roger’s relief. He suddenly realised he was ravenous – having eaten nothing since breakfast and it now being late in the evening. Everyone’s hunger drove the party swiftly forward – they were on a mission, and that mission was to find food before someone collapsed.

This sense of focus and purpose meant that Roger wasn’t even _thinking_ about what had happened, until he looked up from his soup to see Brian watching him – with a smile on his face that managed to be both bemused and devilish. 

Roger dropped his spoon.

By the time he’d re-emerged from under the table, Freddie too was looking at him. Freddie, at least, was trying to be subtle. Brian looked as if he’d never heard of the word. His eyes moved to Freddie, who immediately turned his head to talk, very deliberately, to John.

Roger wasn’t even all that bothered. He was a bit embarrassed at having been caught in a lie by Brian. However, he was aware that Freddie seemed _very_ bothered by all that had happened. He still didn’t fully understand why. Freddie was the one who couldn’t meet Brian’s eye, while Brian and Roger were having a staring contest.

_He’s probably just embarrassed too._

_“So…did you have a good day?”_ Roger decided that one of them should speak, in something other than eye movements.

 _“It was fine”_ Brian shrugged then took a sip of his water, _“Nowhere near as eventful or fun as yours, I’d imagine. But fine”_

 _“What was that?”_ John was asking from across the table, _“did you actually end up doing something other than drinking today?”_

 _“No, no, never mind them”_ Freddie was batting at John’s hand, trying to get his attention focused back on him, _“Roggie’s probably still drunk – and the rest of us aren’t drunk enough”_

_“Well I’d imagine the shower sobered you both up well enough”_

_“Showers tend to have that effect”_ Freddie was glaring at Brian, who raised his eyebrows, the picture of innocence.

_“Is the effect any less when the water is being shared between-”_

_“Your guitar solos aren’t any less boring even when they’re being shared by a whole audience, so I would say no, to whatever you weren’t about to say”_

John shot Roger a look - _what’s happening?_ Roger could only shake his head – he wasn’t about to open his mouth and bear the wrath of Freddie.

 _“Whatever’s going on with you two is the very opposite of boring”_ Roger could see that Brian was enjoying himself, the quip about his solos having rolled off his back. Meanwhile Freddie was visibly on edge, though he was trying not to let it show. He was smoothing his hair back from his eyes one moment, and twirling it between his fingers the next.

 _“Enough”_ Freddie said, a bit too suddenly. While Brian’s tone had been teasing, it was clear that Freddie wasn’t reacting well.

 _“What’s going on?”_ John interjected. Neither Freddie or Brian broke the gaze that they were holding with the other, _“what am I missing?”_

 _“Nothing lovie”_ Freddie pursed his lips, _“Brian’s talking about things that don’t matter and don’t concern him”_

 _“Oh, so it doesn’t matter – is that right Roger?”_ Brian’s head swivelled to Roger, bringing him into the spat at last, and asking a question of _all things, not even just mentioning his name-_

_Oh, dear god._

_“This is all…getting nasty for no reason. Freddie’s right, this isn’t a big deal”_

_“If it’s not a big deal, it doesn’t matter letting John into the loop, does it?”_

_Fuck._

_“I mean…”_ Roger didn’t know what to say. Freddie looked like he was going to explode and Brian was going to be the second casualty.

_“Yes, but…”_

_Hmm._

He managed to meet Freddie’s eye across the table. He could see Freddie sigh, as he contemplated the situation. Finally, he rolled his eyes at Roger, flicking them towards Brian afterwards, to make sure Roger knew who the eye roll was really for.

Freddie picked his napkin up off his lap and placed it on the table.

 _“They can tell you”_ he said quietly to John, _“I’m done being used to suit other people”_

_At least he’d thought the eye-roll wasn’t intended for him…_

Freddie stood up and made his way over to the table where their manager and some of their team had been eating. One of the assistants stood up after a moment and left with Freddie.

The silence that followed could _truly_ be described as pregnant. Large, uncomfortable and unexpected.

Roger knew Brian hadn’t meant any harm when he started. However, the muted way he told John about what he’d walked in on demonstrated the fact that he was, at least, aware of the damage he had done.

 

* * *

 

 

John had been surprised but had no real objections except that he’d hoped it wouldn’t do anything to mess up the dynamic within the band. Roger didn’t have any trouble quashing his worries – he and Freddie were _fine_ after all. By all appearances, it was Freddie and Brian who were causing problems.

_Though there was that comment about being used…_

Roger didn’t quite know what to make of it. He thought Freddie had been okay with what had happened. That aside, it didn’t even _matter_ anymore because it was over. Roger had just wanted to try something, and he had and now it was done.

_But god, it all felt so good._

Roger didn’t know what to make of that either. He was actively trying to push it all out of his mind and focus on whatever Brian and John were talking about but it was proving difficult. The events of the afternoon were on loop in his head.

_“Coming right up lovie”_

* * *

 

 

It had been late when they left the hotel so by the time they got back it was very late indeed. Everyone decided to just head to bed and get the day over with, given that they still couldn’t leave the hotel. Roger had been lying in bed for about thirty minutes when he realised that he was too wound up to sleep.

It was probably partly due to the fact that most of the day had been spent lazing around and thus he wasn’t physically or mentally tired enough to sleep.

If Roger was being honest though, he just couldn’t get Freddie out of his head.

He really should have gone to check if Freddie was okay after they’d come back from the dinner. Freddie hadn’t even _gotten to enjoy_ his dinner, given that he’d left part way through the meal. Roger doubted Brian had gone to apologise or to check in on him either.

_There’s a good chance Freddie’s still awake too._

The laziness of the day aside, Freddie was a night owl. A night owl whose wings were currently being held by their management. Like a bird trapped in a house, Freddie was probably bouncing off the walls.

_Or at least doing a bit of pacing._

Roger was half way down the first corridor before he fully realised what he was doing. He hadn’t checked the time before he left, but he’d guess it was around one in the morning.

There was no answer when he knocked on the door. The idea of Freddie going home from the dinner and getting an “early night” was almost comical because it was so unlike him. It was also almost unbelievable so Roger knocked again, just to be sure.

He heard a noise behind the door.

 _“…Freddie?”_ Roger was pretty sure he’d heard something.

Roger heard a soft _“fuck”_ this time, followed by what sounded like movement. He could just imagine Freddie creeping back from the door peephole, prepared to pretend he wasn’t awake.

_Fucking Freddie._

_“Open up Freddie”_ Roger actually tried the door, but Freddie had indeed locked it this time, having learned his lesson from Brian’s unexpected arrival earlier.

 _“No, fuck off”_ came Freddie’s slightly muffled reply at last, the charade of sleep over.

_“What? No, why would I- just let me in, come on”_

_“No, why would I?!”_ Freddie parroted him, though his tone was far more outraged.

_“Because I want to check if you’re okay – it’s why I came down here”_

_“As you can hear, I’m fine”_ Roger could just _imagine_ Freddie. Arms crossed, an expression of feigned disinterest on his face. Defensive. _“Go back to bed”_

_“I can’t sleep”_

_“Well that’s your problem”_

_“I know but, if I can’t sleep, I bet you can’t sleep either”_

Freddie made an unintelligible noise of protest behind the door.

 _“Freddie, please?”_ Roger tried once more, after a moment of quiet, _“I’m sorry about the dinner – it was all such a mess…fuck, I should have brought you some food or something I didn’t even think-”_

 _“I had food delivered up to the room, darling”_ Freddie couldn’t resist pointing out the absurdity of Roger’s concern, _“it wasn’t half-bad either”_

 _“Okay, good”_ Roger breathed a sigh of relief. At least Brian’s faux-pas hadn’t resulted in Freddie going hungry.

 _“But still-”_ he hurried on, not wanting to let the moment escape, _“it wasn’t…a good night. After a pretty good day. So, I just need to see that you’re…okay”_

 _“Oh, for heavens-”_ Freddie broke off his sentence - Roger could hear him muttering under his breath.

The door opened.  

Freddie held the door open, raising his eyebrows at Roger as if to say, _“well hurry up then”_

Roger hurried on in.

 _“So, what’s wrong with you?”_ Roger said as soon as Freddie shut the door.

Freddie frowned.

_“How do you mean?”_

_“I mean why did you leave earlier, and why wouldn’t you let me in just now”_

_“God forbid someone wants some peace and quiet around here”_

_“Freddie”_

_“You know well I didn’t want Brian talking about_ that _”_ Freddie said pointedly. _“So, excuse the fuck out of me for getting annoyed when he did. At dinner. In front of everyone”_

 _“But…no one even cares Freddie”_ Roger said slowly, trying hard not to set Freddie off, _“Well, they care in the way that people are interested in people they know, but they don’t_ care _care.”_

_“I care!”_

_“Why!?”_ Roger couldn’t understand why _Freddie, of all people,_ was the one getting so hung up on this.

_“Because it’s my fucking life, my personal life, and it was a stupid fucking mistake to-”_

That caught Roger off-guard.

_“A mistake...?”_

_“I don’t mean-”_ Freddie looked apologetic. He ran a hand across his forehead and through his hair, soothing himself. _“I don’t mean anything bad to you. But yes, it was a mistake to do that with you. Bandmate. Friend. It’s messy. It’s like the whole thing of how men are always_ so afraid _that the one gay guy they know is going to hit on them. That’s why I don’t. With friends.”_

_Oh, Jesus fuck._

_“Fuck, so you feel like you’ve done something…wrong and that’s why you’ve been so weird about this”_

_“I mean it’s not_ wrong, _obviously”_ Freddie waved the word off with one hand, _“it’s just a stupid thing to do, in my opinion. And I didn’t want to be reminded of it at dinner, or for the whole world to know – Christ he was so loud!”_

 _“Are you mad at me?”_ Roger knew it was somewhat off-track, but he couldn’t get Freddie’s comment about being “used” out of his head.

 _“For…starting all that. Earlier”_ He finished lamely. He felt so guilty, but also so unsure cause he had _thought_ Freddie had wanted it, at the time. God _fucking knows he wouldn’t have if he didn’t-_

 _“I’m not ‘mad’ lovie”_ Freddie took a step closer to pat Roger’s arm, _“you didn’t mean any harm”_

_Oh, thank fuck._

_“Oh okay, good”_ Roger said breathily, almost as if relief was seeping from his words and cutting off his air supply.

 _“I mean, I’m mad but just not at you”_ Freddie clarified, a hand moving up to cover the sheepish smile that had appeared. _“Mad at Brian. Mad at the fact we can’t do that again. Mad at the fact I ruined the only trip out of this fucking hotel I got all day”_

_At the fact we can’t do it again._

_Can’t do it again._

_Can’t-_

_“What was that second one?”_

_“I don’t remember which one was second”_

_“About being mad we can’t do that again”_

_“Oh yeah”_ Freddie gestured his thanks, _“Super mad about that one”_

_“Why?”_

_“Why??”_ Freddie repeated, his eyes narrowing in overdone confusion. He was hamming it up for Roger’s benefit.

 _“Because it was fucking fun is why, fucker”_ Freddie said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world _“Or am I the only one of us who thought so?”_

 _“No, of course not”_ Roger was working hard to keep his breathing normal _“it was. A lot”_

 _“‘A lot’”_ Freddie made the quotes with his fingers. _“it was_ that _fun when all it was, was a fucking blow job – can you even imagine what it could’ve-”_

_What.it.could.have.been.like._

_“Well, I can certainly try to”_ Roger said after a moment. His heart was hammering in his chest.

Freddie scoffed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

 _“In fact, I am”_ Roger said pointedly _“right now”_

A beat of silence, which wasn’t really silence because Roger could hear his own heart beating.

 _“If you think for one second-”_ Freddie’s tone inclined towards the end, making it a question. Roger too, was wondering if he was really doing this.

_“And after I just gave that whole speech about not fucking friends – were you listening at all you bastard!? I’d be as well-off talking to these fucking walls”_

_“I was listening”_ Roger crossed his arms, mirroring Freddie. _“I heard you say that you’re ‘mad’ that we ‘can’t’ do this again”_

_“What are you even trying to-”_

_“It’s not good to deny ourselves the small pleasures in life Freddie”_ Roger was keeping his tone light, trying to sell his argument.

_And god knows that was a pleasure._

_“Nothing, is going to happen here”_ Freddie waved a hand in front of himself – an ‘X’ motion as if to signify that he himself was off limits. _“You hear me?”_

_“And why not?”_

_“Because I said so”_

_“And why did you say so?”_

_“Because it can’t!”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Because – for all the reasons I said earlier!”_ Freddie huffed, trying to keep up with Roger’s stream of questions. _“Friendship and professionalism and whatever the fuck else-”_

_“But you’re into me”_

_“I told you I’m not into blondes”_

_“Yeah you did”_ Roger shifted forward a small bit. Freddie cocked his head, clocking the movement.

_“Seems like you make the occasional exception”_

_“A once in a blue moon type thing”_

_“Lucky we’re under the same moon we were this afternoon”_

_“It’s not going to happen”_

_“Even though you’d like for it to happen”_

_“I wouldn’t-”_

_“If I was someone else you’d like for it to happen”_

_“But you’re not so it can’t!”_

Roger’s hands were on Freddie’s belt buckle.

Roger was pretty sure neither of them were breathing.

_“Roger-”_

_“If you really don’t want-”_ Roger had to clear his throat _“anything. I’ll stop”_

He already felt like he’d gone too far. It was only because he knew Freddie so well that he was being so forward.

 _“But if you felt anything like what I felt earlier”_ Roger exhaled harshly at the memory, _“then I don’t know how you couldn’t want-”_

Freddie said nothing.

Roger held up one hand – a gesture of surrender, meant to convey that he’d stop the moment he was asked. He lowered the hand again to where it had been gripping Freddie’s belt buckle.

 _“This”_ he finished, at last.

Then he was tugging Freddie towards him.

Freddie moved with the action, allowing Roger to pull him in closer. Freddie was meeting his eye but Roger couldn’t read his expression.

Roger started undoing the buckle.

Everything seemed to be moving very slowly. Roger had time to focus on the way Freddie was taking him in. His eyes were roving over Roger’s body, moving from his face to the hands that were working his buckle, back to his eyes and then everything all over again. Roger himself was transfixed by Freddie’s face.

_“Tell me to stop and I’ll stop”_

The words brought Freddie’s attention back to his face. Freddie exhaled.

_“I should never have let you kiss me in the first place”_

_“Just tell me to stop”_ Roger whispered in reply. He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest and fly away.

 _“Oh, believe me, darling”_ Freddie’s voice was small but definite, _“I’d have stopped you myself by now if I was going to”_

Roger had walked down the corridor in a hoodie and his boxers. A decision he hadn’t contemplated in any regard – it had simply been what he’d been wearing in bed. Freddie, by contrast hadn’t actually changed since they’d gotten dressed all those hours ago. That meant that Roger had to pull Freddie’s jeans down his thighs before he could get a hand on his dick.

 _“Obviously, as I said earlier”_ Roger started stroking Freddie through the material, _“I don’t have much experience with men”_

_Or any you fool._

_“Or any”_ Roger corrected himself, slipping his hand under the waistband of Freddie’s underwear. _“Apart from earlier today. So not much”_

Freddie raised his eyebrows.

 _“However, every experience I have had so far has been great”_ Roger smiled sheepishly at Freddie, who rolled his eyes in response, _“100% satisfaction rate.”_

_“That’s marvellous to hear, truly”_

_“I think you like this whole, me-not-knowing-what-I’m-doing thing”_ Roger knew it would get a reaction and it did. Freddie’s eyes flashed immediately to his, with something more behind them.

_“And what makes you say that?”_

_“Well the fact it took you like two seconds to get hard from this”_ Roger had been looking for nothing more other than to get Freddie hard. This wasn’t about getting him off, it was about getting him hot and bothered.

 _“Yeah, cause getting a dick hard is_ real _hard work”_

 _“Anyway-”_ Roger spoke over the end of Freddie’s sentence. Considering his earlier silence, Freddie was having no trouble speaking now.

 _“The point is”_ he continued, _“I owe you one from this morning”_

He started to get down onto his knees.

Freddie clicked his tongue, _“for fucks-”_

Roger waited for Freddie to elaborate but seemingly Freddie decided against expressing whatever he was thinking. His eyes moved down to Roger and Roger could see that he was starting to smile. His hand moved up to cover his mouth and he actually _looked away_ , but Roger could still see that he was grinning.

_“Okay, go on so”_

_“Kay”_ Roger had been so focused on getting to this point that he hadn’t actually stopped to think about what he’d do once he got here. Now that he _was here_ , he was realising that he should probably have given it more thought.

 _“I don’t-”_ Roger started, but broke off in embarrassment. He didn’t know how to phrase it.

_“I don’t know what to…obviously I know what to do, but I don’t know how to…properly…”_

_“A massive shock”_ Freddie was clearly amused – the hand hadn’t moved from his face because neither had his smile.

_“Well fuck off, fine, I’ll just…”_

_Do something._

Roger felt weirdly nervous considering this was Freddie, and Freddie was one of his best friends and it didn’t _matter_ if he embarrassed himself in front of Freddie, or at least it _shouldn’t¸_ so why was he feeling so anxious about this and why-

_What do you like?_

Roger wrapped his hand around the base of Freddie’s dick. Then he licked a stripe up the length.

Freddie exhaled noisily through his nose. He was probably still trying not to laugh – Roger wouldn’t know, cause now that he’d started, he didn’t want to look Freddie in the eye.

_See that was fine, that was manageable. So just do that again._

_“Hey, Roger?”_ Freddie piped up after a few moments. Roger sat back on his heels and looked up at Freddie – who to his credit, had been very quiet up until now. Roger raised his eyebrows in question.

_“Are you going to put my dick in your mouth at any stage or-”_

A strangled noise of embarrassment sounded – it took Roger a moment to realise that it was coming from him.

_“Or is this the way you like it – you get the girl’s to just lick it on and on and on until-”_

_“Would you fuck off! I was building myself up to it, for fucks sake you utter-”_

_“Building yourself up to-”_ Freddie wheezed the words.

_“I swear to god-”_

_“Okay, here, here, here”_ Freddie reached for Roger’s hand and gave it a squeeze, before kissing the back of it.

_“I’m sorry lovie, I’m teasing”_

_“I’m sorry that I’m shit at this”_

_“Well you haven’t even started yet, so we don’t know if you are”_ Freddie winked. Roger was relieved to notice that most of the nerves he’d been feeling seemed to be melting away. Freddie really was putting him at ease.

 _“So, I’ll give you a hand”_ Freddie was pulling the t-shirt he’d been wearing over his head, _“get this off. Or well, not really a hand, but I’ll just tell you how to. Take yours off too”_

Roger took off the hoodie and t-shirt he’d been wearing and threw them in the same direction Freddie had tossed his.

 _“Okay so,”_ Freddie took his dick into his own hands. Keeping himself hard. Part of Roger wanted to die he was so embarrassed.

_“So just don’t get ahead of yourself at the start. Just start slow. Just the top – just suck on the head and use your hands for the rest. And you can do some more of the licking that you’ve gotten so much practice at already – a pro at that”_

_“Fucking please-”_

_“And it’s fine if you can’t do any-more than that”_ Freddie put a hand on Roger’s head, running his fingers over his hair and slightly through it, _“it’s not like I was expecting this anyway, you don’t ‘owe me one’ like you said”_

_“Okay”_

_“Okay so”_

_Okay so go_

He did what Freddie said. He took the base of Freddie’s dick in his hands again. He took moment to steady himself, then he took the head of Freddie’s dick into his mouth.

_Okay so just…remember to breathe._

_“Oh Jesus, I forgot to say about teeth”_ Freddie tapped Roger’s shoulder. Roger duly moved back.

 _“Just be careful with teeth - believe me I know”_ Freddie waved a hand self-deprecatingly towards his mouth.

_“Okay anything else, while we’re at it?”_

_“No, that’s everything”_ Freddie made a motion as if he was locking his mouth closed, then immediately spoke again, _“you’re doing great”_

_“You look so funny from this angle”_

_“And you look gorgeous with a dick in your mouth”_ Freddie said smugly.

Roger started again. He now had a new-found admiration for everyone who’d ever given him a blow job. Alternating between sucking the head and licking stripes from the base, all the time using his hand to compensate for his lack of skill.

When he started trying to take more of Freddie’s dick in his mouth he felt Freddie’s hand run through his hair again.

_“It’s fine, I don’t expect you to be able-”_

Roger knew he wasn’t about to be able to deep-throat a dick his first time giving a blow job. He was just testing the waters. Remembering what Freddie had done to him earlier in the evening, he moved back up to focus on the head and hummed.

 _“Fuck”_ Freddie’s hand was gripping his hair now, rather than smoothing over it. Roger kept it up for a few moments, then took as much of the dick as he could in his mouth, and swallowed.

 _“You were paying attention”_ Freddie sounded impressed despite himself.

Roger swallowed again.

 _“That’s good, you’re doing good”_ Freddie didn’t seem too aware of what he was saying, the words spoken half under his breath. He kept his hand running gently over Roger’s hair – something Roger couldn’t quite wrap his head around, given how evident it was that Freddie didn’t like people touching his hair.

 _“Freddie”_ Roger knew he shouldn’t stop, but he had to ask, _“are you going to be able to come from this – it’s okay, I get it if you can’t”_

 _“Well I won’t if you keep fucking stopping!”_ Freddie looked and sounded scandalised. His hand moved to the back of Roger’s head – for a moment Roger thought he was about to push his head forward himself, but then he seemed to think better of it.

_“I’ve had much worse than this believe it or not, and still managed to come so don’t you worry your lovely blonde head”_

_“Oh, it’s lovely is it now?”_

_“Lovely on you”_ Freddie said dryly, before continuing more hurriedly, _“come on now, don’t leave me like this. It was getting good”_

Roger duly obliged.

He still had his doubts, however it really did sound like Freddie was getting close. When Roger looked up again he saw that Freddie’s eyes were closed and he was breathing more heavily than he had been.

 _“Here, get off”_ he said quickly, pulling Roger’s head back slightly himself. Roger did and watched as Freddie finished himself off, coming after a few strokes onto Roger’s chest.

 _“So fucking good”_ his eyes were still closed, head thrown back. Roger looked down at the mess which was starting to move down his chest. He didn’t realise he was making a face until Freddie spoke again.

 _“You don’t like that?”_ Freddie sounded genuinely surprised, _“I love it”_

_“Love watching it or love it when it happens to you?”_

_“Well, both, lovie”_ Freddie said, as if it was obvious, _“Look, it could have been worse, at least I pulled away in time”_

_“It’s getting all over me”_

_“Mmm, and it looks so good on you”_ Freddie said brashly, before moving down to kneel opposite Roger. He moved a hand to Roger’s chest, trailing two fingers in the come, before moving his fingers to his mouth.

_God he’s so fucking hot._

_“What, I’m helping to clean you up!”_ Freddie laughed comfortably, not even moving to cover his mouth, _“you want to taste at all? Or are you leaving me all to me?”_

 _“You are so…”_ Roger didn’t know how to describe Freddie. Impossible. Hard to believe.

Freddie’s fingers were back on his chest. Roger stalled his hand when he went to move them back, and brought them up to his own mouth instead. He looked Freddie directly in the eye as he sucked the come off his fingers.

_Fuck me._

_“Fuck me, darling”_ Freddie immediately ran his fingers through the come for a third time, _“do that_ again _”_

 _“You’re ridiculous”_ Roger did as he was asked, this time hamming it up – parodying himself. He licked up Freddie’s fingers, then sucked absolutely _lewdly_ on them, running his tongue around in circles and between them.  

Freddie, not to be outdone, moved his head down towards Roger’s stomach. He licked all the way up, catching much of the come that had trailed down, and most of what remained on his chest. Then – just for good measure – he ran a tongue around one of Roger’s nipples.

 _“Are you_ quite _done?”_

 _“Just about”_ Freddie finished off Roger’s chest, then licked his own fingers in faux-appreciation.

_“My compliments to the chef”_

_“Oh, my fucking god”_

_“Only twenty calories per load”_ Freddie made finger guns towards his crotch, _“the next fad diet”_

_“How’d you figure that out”_

_“Some guy told me”_ Freddie shrugged, _“he was watching his calories. Assumed I was too”_

_“He was worried about twenty calories?”_

_“Didn’t want to ‘waste’ the calories he was allowing himself”_ Freddie made a face, _“his loss”_

_“Christ”_

_“Anyway”_ Freddie moved back up off his heels so that he was closer to Roger, _“are you the type of guy who never lets a girl kiss him after she swallows, cause if you are, I swear to god-”_

_“I’m not a fucking asshole, you asshole”_

_“Good”_ Freddie smiled as he wrapped his arms around Roger’s neck _“cause I want to say thank you for that, lovie”_

 _“Then say it”_ Roger said, his eyes moving to Freddie’s mouth.  

Then Freddie was flush against his body as he kissed his thanks, and they’d kissed before but it hadn’t been like this. Now they were more comfortable and Roger was so aware of how Freddie was _everywhere._ His arms around his neck, his chest against his, his crotch pressing against his as he surged forwards and upwards, trying to get closer and closer. Roger felt like there was electricity running through his skin.

Freddie broke away, leaving his forehead resting against Roger’s. They stayed there like that for a moment, both just listening to the other breathing. Then Freddie was moving his head back. He kissed Roger’s cheek.

 _“Thank you”_ he kissed the other, _“thank you”_

He pressed a final kiss to Roger’s lips – brief but somehow slow at the same time.

_“Thank you”_

_“It was just a blow job”_ Roger felt almost _embarrassed_ by this display. It was _lovely_ but also disproportionate to what he was sure had been a sub-par blow job anyway.

 _“It was lovely”_ Freddie was brushing one of Roger’s cheeks with his thumb _“a lovely surprise”_

 _“Well, it’s not like I was doing anything anyway”_ Roger joked _“except not sleeping”_

 _“You think you’ll sleep now?”_ Freddie moved back, running his hands down Roger’s arms _“I know I could”_

 _“Yeah, I guess I should head back”_ Roger wondered how long he’d been here. It was hard to calculate.

 _“Don’t be ridiculous, stay”_ Freddie said dismissively, starting to stand up.

 _“I mean”_ he corrected himself quickly, _“you can stay if you want. If you don’t want to that’s fine. But I’d like…if you did”_

Roger felt a warmth in his chest.

 _“Yeah, I’ll stay”_ Roger followed suit, and clambered to his feet _“your room’s nicer than mine anyway”_

 _“I make sure I get the nicest room”_ Freddie joked, or maybe _revealed._ Knowing Freddie, it could well be true.

 _“I just want to wash this”_ Roger gestured down at his chest.

 _“I just want to piss”_ Freddie agreed, _“bathroom’s this way”_

 

* * *

 

 

Ten minutes later they were in bed. Roger had shared a bed with Freddie many times before but never had Freddie kissed his cheek as he said goodnight, and never had Roger done exactly the same back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the soundtrack for writing this included abba's gimme! gimme! gimme! (a man after midnight) and i just thought you should all know that


	4. The Morning After the Night Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Freddie don't talk about anything and that's exactly how they want it.

It was one of those mornings where everything about bed was so comfortable that getting up upon waking wasn’t an option. Roger’s eyes were closed again almost before he’d fully opened them, and he burrowed further into the bed, searching for more of that wonderful snug cosiness. 

Except he wasn’t so much burrowing as nuzzling against something.

With considerable effort, he forced himself to open his eyes. Raising his head slightly, his eyes met Freddie’s. He was pressed against Freddie’s side – Freddie himself was propped up in the bed so that he was more sitting than lying. He was eyeing Roger – alerted no doubt to Roger’s waking, by the fact that Roger had promptly attempted to burrow through him.

_“Well, good morning, at last”_

_“Morning”_ Roger managed, through a yawn. He wasn’t tired but he _was_ sleepy and sounded it. He pressed his face against Freddie’s side – even the faint light that was coming through the curtains was too much for him.

_“What time is it?_

_“Mmm..?”_ Freddie hummed. Roger could hear the clambering sounds of him reaching for the bedside clock.

_“It’s just past noon”_

_“Oh wow”_ Roger usually made sure he got up a bit earlier than that. Otherwise the day very quickly disappeared, what with soundchecks and travelling.

_“I know”_ Freddie didn’t sound too bothered. He tended to get up later than Roger or the rest of them – as a general rule. After a moment Roger felt his fingers threading gently through his hair. It was only then that Roger realised that his own arm was thrown across Freddie’s body - his hand on the other side of Freddie’s waist.

Freddie’s other hand was back on the table. It returned in a moment with a pack of cigarettes, an ash tray and a lighter.

_“I was waiting for you to wake up before-”_ he shook the box, _“oh wait actually – what do you want? Tea and toast? That’s what I’m thinking”_

_“Yeah that sounds fine”_ Roger felt capable of doing nothing but dozing. Freddie dropped the items on the bed and reached for the phone, pulling the entire phone set onto his lap to avoid having to stretch as he dialled.

While Freddie ordered their breakfast, Roger decided he should get up. Or rather that he should _sit_ up. He stretched as he sat up, nearly knocking the receiver out of Freddie’s hand in the process. Freddie narrowed his eyes at him, moving the receiver to his other ear.

Roger propped his pillows up behind his back, then reached for the cigarettes. By the time he had one lit, Freddie had hung up the phone, and moved it back to the table. With a groan, he clicked his fingers.

_“Ahh”_ he took the cigarette Roger passed to him hungrily – hungrier for it than his breakfast, no doubt. _“Not sure why I waited for this – in case the smell woke you? I don’t know”_

_“You should have woken me!”_ Roger protested, watching as Freddie took a drag, _“it’s so late now!”_

Freddie clicked his tongue, _“well, I certainly wouldn’t have wanted you to wake me if it had been the other way around”_

_“No, well-”_

_“Besides, you looked so peaceful”_ Freddie passed the cigarette back, _“I couldn’t bring myself to do it”_

_“Well, thanks for that, I slept great”_ it was true. Roger felt totally refreshed now that he’d fully woken up.

_“How long have you been awake, anyway?”_ he continued.

_“Not that long”_ Freddie said vaguely, waving a hand, _“half an hour maybe”_

They lapsed into comfortable silence, passing the cigarette between them until it was finished. Roger didn’t particularly want to talk about anything – clearly Freddie felt the same way. That was, until it came to discussing the important business of the morning.

_“Who’s going to get up to answer the door?”_

_“…you ordered it, you should”_

_“That’s exactly why I shouldn’t!”_ Freddie moved the ash tray off the bed, _“I’ve already done enough”_

_“It’s your room also, so you should be the one to answer the door”_

_“Oh, that doesn’t matter”_ Freddie brushed him off, _“just put on a robe and you’re fine”_

_“It’s just easier if you-!”_

_“Rock paper scissors for it”_

A knock came on the door.

_“I’ll get it”_ Roger groaned as he heaved himself out of the bed. Freddie sighed contentedly and wiggled down lower into the bed.

In the time it took Roger to find one of the robes the hotel had provided, and to answer the door, Freddie, ridiculously given the fuss he’d made, had gotten up and gone into the bathroom. He was back out again by the time Roger had wheeled the cart over to the bed.

_“Oh, pour me a cup, would you lovie”_ Freddie had promptly dived right back into the bed, wrapping the duvet around himself so that it would be _unreasonable_ for Roger to make him get back out.

_“Anyone ever tell you that you’re high maintenance?”_ Roger asked as he poured the tea into two teacups.

_“They’re usually too overwhelmed by the hotel to even think to say something like that”_ Freddie stretched out his hands eagerly. Roger passed him the cup and started buttering some toast.

_“You, on the other hand, are used to the hotels”_

_“And used to you”_

_“That too”_ Freddie took a sip, _“oh that’s good”_

_“Compliments to the chef, again, I suppose”_

_“The ‘chef’ who made the tea”_

_“Toast is good too”_ Roger said, through the mouthful he had just taken from a slice.

_“Oh, hurry up with it then, for fucks sake – I’m starving”_

Roger set his cup down on the other bedside table, then clambered back into the bed, putting the plate of toast down between them.

_“Thanks”_ Freddie put a hand behind Roger’s head and leaned up. He pressed a kiss to Roger’s temple, then quickly reached for a slice of toast.

_“It’s not a bad way to start a morning, is it?”_

_“Start the afternoon more like”_

_“What if we started giving interviews like this”_ Freddie laughed, _“John and Yoko style”_

_“God, remember that”_

_“We’d have to get Brian and John in on it too”_

_“You think we could find a bed big enough?”_

_“Definitely. Wouldn’t be hard at all”_ Freddie said nonchalantly, _“this one would probably work”_

_“I’ll mention it to Jim at the next meeting”_

_“Good, he’ll love it coming from you, rather than me – better yet, let’s get Brian to suggest it”_

_“Sorted”_ Roger smiled at the joke. The last time he’d had breakfast in bed with Freddie, had been back at their flat. Freddie had always loved having tea in bed in the mornings.

_“You think…you and Brian are okay?”_ Roger didn’t want to ruin their morning, but the fact was it _wasn’t_ the morning. They’d have to leave for soundcheck soon and clearly, Brian hadn’t paid a visit to Freddie to apologise or explain himself.

Freddie hesitated, taking a sip of tea to buy himself some time.

_“Yeah, I mean…I probably overreacted. A bit. Doesn’t sound like me at all, does it?”_

_“Oh no, never”_

_“Yeah so, it’ll be fine – I’m annoyed but that always makes for a good show, at least”_

_“Silver linings”_

Roger reached the box of cigarettes again. Freddie moved the ash tray back onto the bed for him. A few minutes passed – Freddie finishing his tea while Roger smoked. Then the phone rang and they both jumped.

_“That’s my final warning wake-up call”_ Freddie informed Roger, one hand on his chest, while the other put his cup on the table.

_“Were there any other warnings before this one?”_

_“No, but it always feels like a ‘final’ warning”_ Freddie reached for the receiver, _“Yes dear, I’m awake, don’t worry. See you later”_

_“We should probably get going”_

_“Yeah”_ Freddie stretched his arms above and behind his back as Roger made his way out of the bed, _“see you later then”_

_“Wait – I can’t walk back like this”_

_“It’ll be fine, just walk fast”_

_“No! It’s twelve in the afternoon, there could be families walking around out there – I don’t want to be the weird man in his underwear”_

_“And you say I’m high maintenance”_

_“Just let me borrow something”_

_“I have to pack!”_

_“I’ll pack it in my mine and give it to you later”_

_“Fine-fine!”_ Freddie walked over to his suitcase. It looked barely opened - Freddie was doing more unpacking in finding something for Roger to wear than he had in the whole two days. He emerged with a pair of jeans which he threw to Roger.

_“Those okay, or do you want a shirt as well”_

_“I mean…”_ Roger lifted the shoulder of his t-shirt slightly, _“it would save me having to change when I get back”_

_“You’re not going to shower when you get back?”_ Freddie made a face

_“I’ll do it at the venue”_

_“I’m not lending you underwear”_

_“Did I_ ask _you to?”_

Freddie threw him a t-shirt.

He dressed quickly. Freddie was in the bathroom brushing his teeth when Roger realised he’d have to walk back without any shoes.

_“And you’re not using my toothbrush either”_ Freddie called, pre-emptively.

_“I’ll see you later, yeah?”_ Roger called as he started to make his way to the door.

_“Leaving without saying goodbye”_ Freddie appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, the toothbrush hovering in mid-air, _“cold”_

_“_ Goodbye _, Freddie!”_ Roger bent into a mock-curtsey, _“Goodbye, farewell, au revoir”_

_“I was joking – I was just thinking of all those poor lovely ladies, who wake up next to_ Roger Taylor, my god, _and then he just walks right out the door-”_

_“What do you want, you want me to kiss you goodbye?”_ Roger grinned, _“morning breath, breakfast eaten, teeth not brushed”_

_“Oh god, you’re right, never mind”_

_“No, you’re right, come here”_ Roger started walking towards the bathroom, his lips jokingly pursed.

_“Get_ away _from me, villain”_ Freddie had retreated fully into the bathroom, keeping his back firmly turned, and watching Roger in the mirror.

_“I’ll see you”_ Roger put a hand on Freddie’s shoulder, leaning around to kiss Freddie’s temple – somewhat mirroring Freddie’s action earlier in the morning.

_“See you”_ Freddie repeated, his eyes watching Roger in the mirror rather than in person. Roger was pretty sure he was smiling around his toothbrush.

 

* * *

 

 

 It was a long walk back to his room – all the more so because every barefooted step in the plush carpet served to remind him of the ludicrousness of his situation. He was also aware of how he was _late_ – even Freddie had a head-start on him.

His lateness was made even more apparent when he passed John, waiting for an elevator, his bag packed and ready to go.

_“Oh, hey Roger – you ready to go?”_

_“Just about”_ it wasn’t _exactly_ a lie. He didn’t have much packing to do himself. _Really,_ he just had to brush his teeth.

_“See you down there”_ John’s lift had arrived. He waved goodbye as he stepped inside. Roger waved and started back on his way. Then Roger, out of the corner of his eye, noticed John’s head popping back out.

_“Nice shirt”_ John called.

Roger wheeled around.

The doors had already shut. 

 

* * *

 

 

The next few hours passed quickly – a rush that began with Roger throwing things in his bag, and ended with soundcheck. The soundcheck passed without much incident – it seemed like they were all a bit tired from the stagnancy of the day before. Brian had a few suggestions as to how they could improve on the last show – all were acquiesced to without much question. No one made any mention of the dinner the night before – no one made mention of very much at all.

In hindsight, it could have been viewed as a calm before a storm.

Roger was on his way back from the catering when he met John, walking in the opposite direction of their dressing room.

_“Uh…I’d give it a few minutes – or ten”_ John gestured with his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the dressing room.

_“What’s up, why?”_

_“Freddie and Brian are having a bit of a row”_

_“Well that’s nothing new, is it?”_ it was common enough for the four of them to get into arguments about work – particularly after shows, when things had gone wrong, but sometimes before them too.

_“Well…”_ John shifted from one foot to the other, his hand moving to the back of his neck, _“it’s…I heard your name come up”_

_Well, that’s a bit weird._

_“…is it about the soundcheck or the show or…”_ Roger said slowly, carefully.

_“It’s not about work”_ John said bluntly, eyebrows raised _“I was only outside the door for a second, I wasn’t listening but yeah, I’d give them some space if I was you”_

_Oh my god._

_“Thanks”_ Roger was tight-lipped as he thanked John, who nodded and continued back towards the catering area.

_What the fuck, what the fuck, what the-_

Roger didn’t know what to do. Part of him wondered if he should walk into the argument, given that apparently, he was being discussed. A more sensible part of him knew that getting involved in an argument needlessly is never a good idea. _All of him_ was terribly curious.

_I’ll just listen for a second…_

During the time it took Roger to walk to the dressing room, he became aware that he could hear Brian and Freddie’s voices – nothing distinct, just the sound itself.

He paused outside the door. He didn’t think Brian and Freddie were actually shouting, it was more just that they were speaking loudly. He also couldn’t hear anything specific at all, just enough to know that there was indeed an argument occurring. Despite having walked down the corridor with the intention of going in to them, something now was telling Roger that it would be best not to.  Quietly Roger made his way back down the hall, following after John.

 


End file.
